Barnesys Blog Party

Getting hung up on Lady Gaga's Telephone

IF you'll pardon the expression, Lady Gaga is certainly stradling the world right now - but is her trashy art-pop really just relaying a message about mind control? Some people think so.

If you're in the least bit interested, you will have watched the nine-minute Telephone video by now, with its Prison for Bitches, lesbian snogging, mass-murder, nigh-on-naked dance routines and an unhinged Beyonce.

There's a song attached as well (a high-octane dance-pop standard), and a host of hilariously blatant product placements; I guess somebody has to pay for it all.

The post-match reaction arrived with hurricane force; from disgust to delight and from anger to amusement. To some it's the new Thriller: to others it's the sign of a civilisation literally gone gaga. Personally I think it's very funny and entertaining. Would I want my child to watch it? Erm, give it 15 years.

Pop's brightest young thing clearly loves the shockwaves emanating from everything she does; she thrives on the mystique and the enigma. It's the currency of her career, alongside some clever pop tunes. The Telephone video even jokes about the ongoing rumours that she is a hermaphrodite.

But the point you know you have really, truly arrived is when people write articles about you like this.

The Vigilant Citizen blog posted a lengthy analysis of the song and video, referencing its supposed links to mind control and Illuminati symbolism.

Its conclusion is that Telephone is telling us: "America is ready to eat any poisonous crap the elite serves them, and that is accomplished through mind-controlled puppets."

Well, I'd offer two other, more straightforward explanations for the video: 1. She thinks it's funny. 2. She thinks it's shocking.

And I'd suggest that analysis would hold up for most of the other talking points of her startling rise to stardom; from the Kermit coat to the burning cigarette shades and the piano-on-stilts.

Maybe, I'm just another victim of mind control (!) but Gaga clearly knows what she's doing, and getting a reaction is now a big part of her job. If people tie themselves in knots trying to find hidden meanings, then that's a big, big bonus.

Isn't Telephone really just a microcosm of Gaga's career: trashy, mindless, carefree fun, split 50-50 with prime-time advertising? Certainly nothing to get hung up about.

Led Zeppelin's night at the deep end

"GOOD evening," chirps Robert Plant, striding onstage in Ipswich. Tonight’s gig is at a swimming pool – and it sounds like the crowd might have drowned. The Led Zeppelin singer tries again. "GOOD EVENING..." This time, Ipswich is stirred out of its slumber to respond in kind. This might be one of the biggest rock n' roll bands in the land playing a sweatbox gig in a provincial town but it sounds - from what I can hear at least – not unlike a school assembly. Plant pauses...(read more)

Florence looms large over Latitude

ONE name leaps out of the Latitude Festival line-up announced tonight: FLORENCE. Not forgetting The Machine, of course, who will crank into gear as Ms Welch takes a headlining spot at this year’s festival at Henham Park. She’s the number one draw, by a country mile. The only act announced (so far) who can command the attention and adulation of both the mainstream and indie press. Florence has been touring her top-selling Lungs album for quite some time now. The record has gathered momentum...(read more)

Lessons learned from a year of blogging

IT's a year now since I answered the call of the web editor for volunteer bloggers on this website. I'll do one about music, I thought, I know a bit about that. As it turns out, I didn't (don't) know the half of it....(read more)

Tiffany 'stalker' film makes the skin crawl

YEP, being a pop star might bring you all the fame, money and adulation you could wish for. But, as one new film shows, it could also mean a middle-aged man trying to "spiritually communicate" with you through a specially-adapted bicycle helmet. I Think We're Alone Now, out now on DVD, is a documentary of two stalkers of the 80s pop star Tiffany, best known for her worldwide smash of that name 23 years ago. Except they're not really stalkers. Jeff Deane Turner,...(read more)

Did Courtney Love go to school in Suffolk?

WAS the High Priestess of Grunge the first pupil to be kicked out of Suffolk's most progressive school? That's how it's reported. I was intrigued to read in the press last week that Courtney Love, the Hole singer and widow of Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain, had been a pupil at the famous Summerhill School in Leiston. The link was widely made in reports of Love's speech to the Oxford Union. She was even quoted about "going to school in Suffolk" in a red-top showbiz story about her loving life...(read more)

Why threat of axe could be the making of 6 Music

IT'S one of those stations that everyone likes but not many people really listen to. But that could all be about to change. The reaction to the possible closure of BBC 6 Music by corporation bosses has been headline-grabbing. Which is something the digital station never has been before. It might come as a surprise to many - it did to me - that 6 Music has been going for eight years now. Many top bands must have got their first play on the station; it's probably come the closest of any...(read more)

109 names to call your band

THINK Them Crooked Vultures is a rubbish name for a band? Well, they thought every decent band name was taken. I’m about to prove them so very wrong. The rock supergroup had wanted to call themselves Caligula which, let’s face it, is a rubbish name as well, but that had gone. "Think of a great band name and Google it, and you’ll find a French-Canadian jam band with a MySpace page," sighed John Paul Jones, the ex-Led Zeppelin man who now plays bass with TCV. It was while reading this rock star whine...(read more)

Have Arctic Monkeys lost magic touch?

THE NME Awards always provide an anarchic antidote to the Brits - and a chance to right a few wrongs. But one band must be left wondering if their magic touch is gone. The Arctic Monkeys failed to make any Brits shortlist earlier in the month - and came away with just the Best Live Act last night. No bad thing, of course, but not one of the biggies; essentially a sop. Muse and Kasabian won the ones everyone wants - Best Band and Best Album respectively - and it was great to see Jamie...(read more)

Composing Jack Bruce's career

I WAS sent a copy of the authorised biography of Jack Bruce - the master bassman and Cream legend - recently. It's an indepth account of the life and work of one of the most under-appreciated rock stars of the 1960s. I've had the pleasure of meeting Jack a couple of times (he lives in 'the middle of nowhere' somewhere near the Essex/Suffolk border) and found him a fascinating, charming character. I've since investigated much of his vast back catalogue, so...(read more)

Lady Gaga pulls the Brits out of 1996

IT was the night the Brits saved itself from a nostalgia disaster - but it was a close-run thing. For the first-half of the show it felt like one of those 90s throwback shows. The Spice Girls (two doing the work of five) were everywhere, Liam Gallagher's award-winning (and throwing) audio was being muted and the prospect of a Robbie Williams singalong was looming large. Come on, you wanted to scream at the TV, this is 2010! Host Peter Kay looked the most bored and uninspired of all, as if he wished...(read more)

Play the Brits prediction game

THIS post is something of a remix, but now the BRIT Awards are upon us, it's time to weigh up the 2010 runners and riders. When the nominations were announced a month ago I had a go at picking the winners - and I stand by all but one of them. Here's who I think will win: BRITISH MALE: Dizzee Rascal. BRITISH FEMALE: I originally thought the Brits might play it safe with Leona Lewis, but I can't see how they can ignore Florence & The Machine (although, doesn't 'The Machine' make it a group?!)...(read more)

Believe The xx hype - just give it time

I HAD this post all sorted. I was going to blow the whistle on one of those Next Big Things; fly in the face of a thousand good reviews. Every so often, there's a band whose name you hear so often you have to take it as some sort of sign to go and check them out. And so it was with The xx. They seemed to get a namecheck everywhere I looked or listened. I'd only heard snatches on the radio, so - through the wonders of Spotify - I decided to check out their self-titled album, released last...(read more)

The original Everybody Hurts tribute

EVERYBODY Hurts is the song handpicked to fundraise for Haiti. But it isn't the first time it's been used to pay a public tribute after tragedy - another was at Portman Road, Ipswich, on July 8, 2005. R.E.M. played at Ipswich Town's stadium the day after the 7/7 London bombings. Needless to say, it had been a strange atmosphere in the build-up. There was even some doubt whether the show would take place. Everything felt irrelevant after those terrorist attacks; it was one of those...(read more)

Where do you start with The Beatles?

AT the age of 33, I've finally bought my first Beatles album. I didn't set out to do it, I just saw it sitting there on the shelf, with a "sale" sticker on. And if there's one Fab Four album that everyone should have, this is probably it. True, I've got plenty of their music scattered about my CD and (in dustier corners of the garage) tape collections. There are even a couple of old, battered tapes that might as well be called Songs That Haven't Yet Made It On To Other Beatles'...(read more)