Wanted, a recruiting sergeant - regional, of course

ATTENTION!!

How's your knowledge of interfacing with holistic marketing networks?

Jolly good, off you go to Pewsey in Wiltshire and join the queue to join the support staff for Dr John Reid's Army.

On the outbreak of World War I, the British Army produced the most famous recruiting poster in history - an image of war secretary Lord Kitchener staring down and barking out command: "Your Country Needs You."

Now 92 years on, the Army of defence secretary Dr Reid has revealed its latest recruitment advertisement - it wants a £50,000 a year regional marketing manager to "sell" the service and "influence the thinking of senior military commanders."

In typical New Labour speak, the successful applicant will be expected to "act as the key interface between the central network and the regional marketing delivery structure." He or should will be working in one of the "most advanced 'holistic' marketing networks in the UK today, utilising the services of 10 of the UK's top marketing design and PR suppliers under the guidance of an extensive marketing department".

The job description calls for five years experience in "brand marketing'' and expertise in working across "the entire PR and marketing mix''.

It went on: "Your communications skills both verbal and written will be outstanding, your competency will be second to none.

"You will have the confidence and presence required to influence the thinking of senior military commanders and professionals from some of the country's highest profile advertising, media and PR agencies."

Well, somebody has to do it, so it might as well be you . . . if you can understand what the hell the advert's all about.