Living with bronchitis

I'M not one who generally "enjoys" poor health, but I do fall victim every year to bronchitis - coughing up lovely coloured phlegm, giving me a sore chest and making me short of breath. Thus I've been off work for five days with my annual affliction, prescribed a course of penicilin over the phone by my doctor, and suffereing the advantages of 100 satellite tevelision and radio channels, most of which are repeats.

During my time away, the Tories have been told once again - this time by their leader - what a nasty lot they are and they had jolly well better change or the folk in the inner cities won't vote for them again. As if they ever had!!

Gordon's jetted off to Mozambique to be photographed with Nelson Mandela to prove what a great statesman he is - Gordon that is - and to tell Labour it should be so grateful that they must elect him unopposed as leader. Unfortunately, there's still no vacancy and so job aspirants need not reply.

The Tories piled ermine on some of their donors in a neat twist to the sleaze that has engulfed Labour. Tony had been stopped fropm giving peerages to some rich types who had secretly lent his party money, but there was no such problem for Tory donors. Why? Because a lawful donation is different from a loan. Such is the irony of politics!!