April 17 2014 Latest news:
Click on the joke to reveal the punchline
What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas quacker.
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days.
What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson.
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed.
Two snowmen in a field what did one say to the other?
Can you smell carrots?
As a fan of snow, what did Father Christmas tell Mother Christmas when she looked out of the window and gasped: "What's
"That's rain, dear."
Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why didn't the Skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
How do snowmen get around?
On their icicles.
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
What kind of paper likes music?
What is the fear of giants called?
What did Kermit say when he got to the top of the hill?
What do you call a pig with four eyes?
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
What is the most popular Christmas wine?
I don't like Brussels Sprouts.
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he's a fungi.
Where can you buy British Rail bubble gum?
On a chew chew train.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Where in a jungle is it not safe to park?
On a double yellow lion.
What do you get when you cross a piece of bacon with a spaceship?
An unidentified frying object.