Would that be one lump of Turkish delight or two?
We set off from Heathrow with no hold ups at Border Control. I wasn’t even frisked. Is there a form you can fill in if you fancy a bit of a going over?
A precise pollen counter
Deleting the 600 e-mails that had accumulated during my week off, this one caught my eye: “Fast-working over-the-counter nasal spray helps hay fever sufferers to get on with their day-to-day activities.”
A tale of socks, sex and the Spanish Inquisition
“Was it rampant sex?” asked Steve, the theatre director, who had popped round with a copy of a script for my husband.
What use would I be?
If you were to wake up in the Dark Ages – not the ones we are currently experiencing, the ones back in the first Millennium – what could you bring to the table or, rather, the straw-covered mud on the floor of my hut?
Seriously, I don’t want to know what bouldering is
The National Trust has launched its campaign to get children outdoors, suggesting 50 Things to do before you’re 11¾ but what about those of us who haven’t managed all of them by fifty-seven and one-fifth?
- The Brick, the hosepipe, and the back of a bus
- A continuing Saga
- Five a day – Twirl, Kit Kat, Flake, Mars and Maltesers
- How do they know where you live?
- Down and out in London and Liverpool Street
- Essential school cookery tips
- I’m cool . . . call me by my rap name – Baddie Quik L Lynnie
- I’m well up on ologies when it comes to the supermarket
- Tapping various water sources
- Love, marriage and being in bed with Max Hastings
- Bridget Jones, eat your heart out
- The unbearable lightness of being without chocolate
- Writing on all four sides of the paper
- Older and wiser. . . so how about we just hold hands?
- Some indecent proposals and putting on the Ritz
- Repeat after me: Age is a number, not a definition
- And while we’re on the subject of advancing age...
- Ranters’ corner
- Telling an ‘old’ joke
- What makes for a great relationship? Lots of sex . . .
- A painted lady
- Please, Sir, I want some more cultural overload
- Apostrophical catastrophical
- My five-day plan to get rid of all those 2011 leftovers
- With a smile and a thong at twilight
- How you can dazzle all your friends south of the border
- Who wants to be a millionaire?
- Large sausages and Auld Lang Syne in the S&M café
- They’re lovely – now give me the receipt
- Dazed and confused by the man at the door
- Austerity Christmas – but will we still get a warm glow?
- No socks, please, we’re British
- It takes more than a flat cap to be a northerner
- Save water – don’t sing Sondheim in the shower
- Initial thoughts on G&T, RSC, LOL – and toasted sandwiches
- My very own recipe for a premature Christmas cure
- Tracking down Homo Perfectus with the help of the Clare scribe
- Green woman seen in Essex
- An unexpected squeeze
- Is he checking out my hand baggage?
- All right, I’ll go - but not quietly
- Buffeted by a windy night out – some time after the event
- Wanted: The perfect man
- A little bit of this, that and most definitely The Other
- Love in the library
- First law of parenthood – being there for the kids
- If you see this woman, do not approach her...
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