A painted lady

Monday, January 23, 2012
3:08 PM

I mentioned that, in the unlikely event I might adopt a healthier lifestyle, I could “emerge from my shell like Botticelli’s Venus”.

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Derek Cook, from Gorleston, suggests that if my cartoons are at all life-like, then I look less like Botticelli’s Venus and more, perhaps, like Balotelli’s Venus.

Sensing (correctly) that I might not have the faintest idea who Balotelli is, he encloses a cutting with a quote from the aforementioned gentleman who turns out to be a player of association football located in the northern metropolis of Manchester.

Not an artist at all, then... although I expect some cheesy old footie commentator would say he creates masterpieces with his feet.

There have been a number of reports of the star striker’s largesse but I’m not sure his famous generosity would extend to painting a menopausal newspaper columnist emerging from a scallop or, perhaps, the Etihad Stadium.

I cannot guess what Mr Balotelli’s Venus would look like but I take it 
under advisement from Derek that 
she would probably look something 
like me.