April 16 2014 Latest news:
Monday, January 23, 2012
I mentioned that, in the unlikely event I might adopt a healthier lifestyle, I could “emerge from my shell like Botticelli’s Venus”.
Derek Cook, from Gorleston, suggests that if my cartoons are at all life-like, then I look less like Botticelli’s Venus and more, perhaps, like Balotelli’s Venus.
Sensing (correctly) that I might not have the faintest idea who Balotelli is, he encloses a cutting with a quote from the aforementioned gentleman who turns out to be a player of association football located in the northern metropolis of Manchester.
Not an artist at all, then... although I expect some cheesy old footie commentator would say he creates masterpieces with his feet.
There have been a number of reports of the star striker’s largesse but I’m not sure his famous generosity would extend to painting a menopausal newspaper columnist emerging from a scallop or, perhaps, the Etihad Stadium.
I cannot guess what Mr Balotelli’s Venus would look like but I take it under advisement from Derek that she would probably look something like me.