7 universal truths about love as revealed by Love Island
PUBLISHED: 17:04 15 July 2019 | UPDATED: 12:57 16 July 2019
Suspicions are high that Love Island is a little fixed (or maybe a lot). But it still reveals some pretty incontrovertible truths about love, argues Liz Nice
We live in a strange world.
Lately, I have been trying to make sense of it through Love Island, which is probably unwise.
On Sunday night, I spotted that the 'random' supermarket worker who had caused trouble between previously loved-up contestants Anton and Belle after Anton gave her his number behind Belle's back, was also apparently working behind the bar in a so-called nightclub where all the contestants were given a night out.
'It's a fix!' cried Twitter, as though that was some sort of surprise.
Clearly, the programme is constructed by its producers to manifest multiple drama opportunities, and very likely the not random at all supermarket worker/bar maid is an actress, yet, manipulative as it maybe, the programme does nonetheless throw up a lot of useful truths about love which is why it should be required viewing for all young women.
1 We have seen what happens when you throw yourself headlong into a relationship all guns blazing, without keeping a regular check on the expression on your man's face each time you talk about the future (Amy and Curtis/Michael and Joanna).
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2 We have seen that a man can promise you the world and be all over you one minute, then off with a prettier/thinner/more exciting version of you the next (Amber and Michael/Curtis and Amy).
3 We have learned that while women tend to fall hard for their man, who quickly becomes the only man in her world, the men are pretty happy with anyone, as long as she makes him feel and look good almost all of the time. And herein lies Love Island's greatest lesson: that while the women long for their man to really see who they are, delight in that, and feel that they could never want anyone else, most of the men don't go beyond 'she'll do'.
4 It is rare for any man to get a choice of women but when he does, he is all over the place. Two options! Since women are all exactly the same, it hardly matters either way - can't I have both? This we have seen with Tommy who early in the series had the hideous task of picking between gorgeous blonde Molly Mae and gorgeous Irish brunette, Maura - boxer Tommy eventually chose (with very brief regret) the less intellectually demanding Molly. Now Curtis is torn between Maura (who likes a challenge) and gorgeous Essex brunette Francesca. The poor man doesn't know where to put himself and clearly wishes someone would just come along and pick for him (I suspect the producers will soon oblige.)
5 We have also seen on the show how men support each other through relationships by slapping each other on the back a lot, making a joke of everything and inadvertently egging each other on to mess things up with their women as Anton was by Jordan and Tommy during the phone number fiasco with the supermarket worker who wasn't.
6 And we have seen too how women support each other through emotional heartbreak, listening to the same old details over and over, backing each other up however ludicrous the claims being made and ultimately, in most cases, giving each other terrible advice. The advice is always well meaning of course, but usually compromised by the possibility that a) they are after the man themselves (Maura to Amy) or b) they are reading the situation the way their romantic heart wants it to be, rather than by what it actually is (Maura to Amber).
7 Interestingly, Maura is by far the smartest and most interesting woman on the show and the only one who takes a traditionally male approach to matters of the heart - up front sexually, quickly moving on to the next one when things don't work out as she hoped, telling it like it is, laughing or shouting her way out of tricky situations and not taking any nonsense from anyone.
Naturally, she is the only woman who has so far failed to find any kind of meaningful relationship in the Love Island villa.
"She frightens the men," a male friend of mine says.
By being clever, gorgeous, unique, full of personality and knowing exactly what she wants?
By wanting to be wanted for who she is and have her own needs met, rather than being there to purely serve a man's?
Like I said, a lot of truths on Love Island!