Fame for fame’s sake - is it really that bad?
Fame! “I’m gonna live forever. I’m gonna learn how to fly” – this is nonsense obviously.
Even if you were famous you will never live forever; it’s impossible. Everything eventually withers and dies. (Happy new year!)
And I’m not that interested in living forever unless I can choose who I’m living forever with. The last thing I need is to be housed in a shed with Jeremy Clarkson for eternity.
You can’t learn to fly without some aeronautical engineering put in place, it’s impossible so those kids from Fame had no idea what they were talking about. Idiots! No wonder they went to drama school.
But fame has changed a lot in the last ten years. As we tentatively enter the new decade, testing the water with our feet to see if this decade will be any different from the last and letting out a collective sigh as we realise that no, it’s just going to be the same but with fewer civil servants, fame is a nasty dream had by children.
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It’s not something grown up people should be interested in. As children we dream of being adored by millions, walking down red carpets and being wooed by high society in the best restaurants. As adults we dream about beards, hair loss and council tax bills.
However it is possible to make a living out of just being famous. Just being a person who has their photograph taken whilst shopping or going into a nightclub; and there isn’t really wrong with that.
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When Chardonnay, Britney, Justin or whatever children are called these days, go up to their parents and say they want to be famous, their parents are supposed to ask “a famous what?”
Then we are meant to offer them the idea of being a famous scientist, astronaut or teacher and they go and study in the hope that they will become a famous scientist, (Einstein) astronaut (Neil Armstrong) or teacher (Mr Robson from TV’s Grange Hill).
But if Justin or Bianca are fifteen, not really trying hard and still holding onto their ambition of fame, isn’t suggesting the idea of being a famous doctor just gilding the lily slightly? To be honest at that point they should probably try and get on Big Brother or The Only Way is Essex. At least they will be out of the house sooner.
It used to be that the public looked up to the royal family and the ambition was to be a prince or a princess or in my case, a butch princess.
I happen to like our royal family. Having said that it doesn’t mean I want all the news coverage this year to be about William and Kate, at the same time I am grateful for the day off because they are getting married and its even weirder when you consider I didn’t get the day off when my cousin got married, and I know them.
But who is the more famous? Wills or David Beckham? It must be David Beckham because he’s a footballer and even I know who he is.
What is interesting about celebrities is they do have the ability to bring attention to things that don’t normally get that attention. This isn’t always a good thing, I had no idea what an Ugg Boot was and I’m 99% sure hardly anyone cared about them until Kate Moss started to wear them.
I was also quite comfortable with my lack of knowledge about scientology until the plethora of Hollywood stars came out in favour of us all being aliens.
However, when Brad Pitt talks about Darfur it makes me look up Darfur and find out what’s happening. When my friend Tom tried to talk to me about Darfur I yawned, made my excuses and left; although to be perfectly honest whatever my friend Tom is talking about I tend to make my excuses and leave.
Then promise myself I should get some good friends instead of the ones I just ended up with.
Some famous people are thoroughly annoying, and these are more often than not the ones who are famous for just being famous. But to be honest, if someone offered me everything that Jordan has, just for taking a few photographs every now and again, I would take it.
So when Britney or Zammo run up to their parents and declare their ambition for fame, perhaps we should encourage it. That way, maybe everyone in the world will be famous in 50 years’ time and we could all cancel each other out, bringing an end to this nonsense.