It’s not easy being me
Being me takes twice as long as it used to.
I walk into the kitchen – why am I there?
First, open the fridge door. No clues there.
The oven? No.
The washing machine? No.
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The dishwasher? No.
Was I going to make a cup of tea? Just made one; so, no.
- 1 Ipswich Town face fight to keep young midfielder Gibbs with rivals Norwich among interested clubs
- 2 Inside quirky off-grid houseboat with stunning river views - yours for £500k
- 3 Ipswich Town transfer rumour: Portsmouth 'fend off' Blues to agree Stockley deal
- 4 'Spooky' bushes full of caterpillars spotted near Suffolk roads
- 5 Woman seriously injured in accident on major Ipswich road
- 6 If your surname is on this list you could be sitting on a fortune
- 7 Ipswich Town transfer rumour: Blues 'consider £350k bid' for keeper
- 8 'Absolutely the right manager for this football club' - Ashton backs Cook to turn Town around
- 9 Cyclist hurt in crash with car
- 10 Comedian Jack Whitehall visits Suffolk's 'most incredible' Wilderness Reserve
Is there something in this pile of mail I was going to deal with? No. I move to the middle of the room and think hard.
Ah, got it. I meant to go upstairs. I trip up the stairs . . . gosh they squeak (my knees not the stairs) and stare blankly around . . . why am I here? What happened to that incisive mind?
I think I might have left it in the sitting room . . .