James Marston: A bag for life? How old do you think I am?

James Marston at Stanton Downham

James Marston at Stanton Downham

My plain-speaking-photographer-friend-Lucy, who’s getting married, doesn’t like being photographed.

In fact she positively dislikes it. In the same vein, one thing I will say about journalism is that it is me who usually asks the questions and by the same token I’m not very keen on being questioned.

I think it’s because, generally, other people are far more interesting than me and I’d rather find out about them. Or it’s because I am simply nosey.

Anyway, have you noticed how every time you buy anything these days it comes with a barrage of irksome questions? I have decided to share some answers to annoying questions, for the next time you pop out for a bottle of Tio Pepe and four all-butter croissants:

Would you like a bag? – “Well obviously. How else can I carry my purchases?”

You may also want to watch:

What sort of bag would you like? “A free one that’s big enough ? surely that comes with the purchase?”

Would you like a bag for life? – “How old do you think I am?”

Most Read

Do you have a nectar card/club card? ? “No, but if I had a pound for every time I get asked, I’d be so rich I wouldn’t need one and someone would shop for me.”

Anyway, I managed to escape the world and, indeed, my small Felixstowe flat with sea views (distant) just a little bit this week by going to Santon Downham, one of Suffolk’s peaceful places. Surrounded by forest and with a river – the Little Ouse ? running through it. Lucy and I rather enjoyed getting away from it all for an hour or so. We strolled onto the village’s bridge – it once featured in an episode of everyone’s favourite sitcom, Dad’s Army – and Lucy captured the moment. A little further downstream – or is it upstream? I can never be sure – I also paid a visit to RSPB reserve Lakenheath Fen. Twenty years ago it was carrot fields and a bit of woodland; today it is a haven for all sorts of wildlife and more than 200 species of bird. I discovered that in 2007 cranes bred there for the first time. Apparently they are five feet tall, with an eight-feet wingspan – can you imagine?

In other news the flower festival at St James’ Church Icklingham, the west Suffolk village where I spent my boyhood, has been hailed as a great success. I played a little atmosphere music on the organ ? Fly me to the Moon, By the time I get to Phoenix, Puff the magic dragon; you know the sort of thing ? while visitors admired a myriad of flower arrangements and historical displays. Even my baptism was on display in the church records, highlighting my forthcoming 40th birthday – and in case you are wondering, I’d still like a Maserati. Save you asking me the question, won’t it?

Become a Supporter

This newspaper has been a central part of community life for many years. Our industry faces testing times, which is why we're asking for your support. Every contribution will help us continue to produce local journalism that makes a measurable difference to our community.

Become a Supporter
Comments powered by Disqus