Mothers’ wisdom on the comedy circuit

Thanks to my friend Beryl for this homage to mothers which has been doing the comedy e-mail circuit:

My mother taught me religion: “You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

She taught me logic: “Because I said so, that’s why.”

More logic: “If you fall off that swing and break your neck, don’t come running to me.”

Irony: “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

You may also want to watch:

The science of osmosis: “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

Weather: “This room of yours looks as if it’s been hit by a hurricane.”

Most Read

Exaggeration: “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times.”

She taught me about anticipation: “Just wait ‘til I get you home.”

Physiology: “If you keep pulling that face, you’ll stay like that.”

Genetics: “You’re getting just like your father.”

Healthy eating: “It’ll put hairs on your chest.”

Hypocrisy: “Don’t do as I do; do as I say.”

(I added that last one, myself)

Become a Supporter

This newspaper has been a central part of community life for many years. Our industry faces testing times, which is why we're asking for your support. Every contribution will help us continue to produce local journalism that makes a measurable difference to our community.

Become a Supporter