My pet: A bone to pick with my Matt

Abbie Hunter

Abbie Hunter - Credit: Archant

So it is finally happening. Matt is leaving home.

For years I sat with crossed paws, hoping the day would come.

As you see, my human person isn’t always my favourite friend. He can be loud and boisterous, traits incompatible with my ladylike needs.

I like to take my time, relax, and never do anything without first consulting my copy of the WI’s dog manual.

But now Matt has announced that he’s off. He has a new home in Ipswich waiting and says he won’t be able to offer any walkies.

My first worry was whether I would be able to continue writing this column. He said I should invest in a dog and bone so I can send my copy over.

My canine friends say I should consider moving in with him.

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I asked Matt if I could pass as an urban fox but without the tendency to scavenge in bins.

Being town-based would certainly widen my social circle. Matt said one condition would be I’d be in charge of the cleaning. And with his record I would certainly have my work cut out.

Another issue would be my thick, white husky coat, which is moulting. Soon I’ll look like a right stray, which won’t go well with his carpets.

His four-seater car isn’t exactly practical for me so I guess I’d have to use the bus, which would be a novelty as we don’t have many of those in the countryside.

I think I will make my decision next week. Now is the time for napping, not thinking.

Any dogs (or even their owners) who would like to write in should email Matt.As told to Matt Hunter

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