I have read with interest this week about Top Gear’s antics in Argentina.

Presenter Richard Hammond, the one who is almost down to my height, took to the airwaves this week to protest the show’s innocence.

For those that don’t know, and Matt my human person isn’t one of them, Hammond and pals Jeremy Clarkson and James May were driving through the South American country when a riot started.

This wasn’t because the country’s inhabitants were protesting over a lack of new episodes of the mega popular show; no, they were angry because of a numberplate which read H982 FKL.

Even with my canine eyes and hearing I knew this wasn’t good and my tail quickly lost its wag. But I’m not one to debate the wider merits of whether or not Britain should hold on to the Falkland Islands; instead, it got me thinking about cats.

They’re certainly my number one enemy but, although fractious, it might not be up there with the problems bedevilling Anglo-Argentine relations.

I got on the dog and bone and spoke with Frank the labrador from Leiston. He said it was time to ruffle the feathers (not a good metaphor) of the cat underworld.

You may not believe this but those pesky cats are a big nuisance. So Frank and myself decided to stage a protest: Why should cats be able to come and go as they please?

This husky-cross-alsatian is just as intelligent as those felines – why can’t I have a dog flap? Margot the dalmatian from Milden was similarly enraged and decided to bring the matter up at the local branch meeting of WHINE: the Welfare of Hounds In Need of Equality.

I’ll report back to you next week with her findings.

As told to Matt Hunter