I am looking for a way out!

My days of living in these insufferable conditions will soon be over as I have a cunning plan.

After Sir Richard Attenborough’s recent passing I decided to clue up on his finest work.

From Gandhi to Jurassic Park I saw them all and was rather pleased (apart from when the dinosaurs roared!)

But it was when I sat and watched The Great Escape that I hatched a rather original idea.

Instead of being given drivel food and having little walkies, why can’t I dig myself an escape route?

Just like Dickie Attenborough, Steve McQueen and Donald Pleasence, I too can be a hero but this time without being shot at by Nazis!

While my human person Matt’s family were out, I ran out to the garden and started.

Within seconds my fine white coat was soiled in well, soil. You see this husky-cross-alsatian was designed to dig.

But then I realised I would need my own system of pulleys and rope so I wouldn’t end up choking to death. I also didn’t want to end up throwing a ball inside a detention cell.

I got the dog and bone and called Margot the dalmatian from Milden but her butler said she was busy internet shopping.

Frank the Labrador from Leiston had just finished eating but said he would come round to help.

It took two hours (Frank’s not the quickest of dogs) before he arrived. But when he did we suddenly realised us dogs aren’t very good at wood work so we gave up.

I guess now it’s time for a bath!

As told to Matt Hunter