What’s so special about today?
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Nearly every day of the year is designated for some celebration or another. Some days offer as many as eight options. In the event you have nothing whatever to do in the coming months, here are some of the weirder ideas.
Christmas Day, Shrove Tuesday, Valentine’s Day, Hallowe’en, your birthday - all perfectly good days of the year.
There are many other occasions we observe connected to illness, world hunger and international campaigns.
Then, there are the others.... quite a lot of them American, you won’t be surprised to hear.
For example, January 23 is “measure your feet day”, the 24th is “beer can appreciation day” and it is also, possibly riding on the back of “talk like a pirate day”, “talk like a grizzled prospector day”, consarn it.
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If you want to send your work colleagues completely barmy, you will be interested to hear that Monday, January 28 is “bubble wrap day”. Popping the bubbles can be therapeutic but only for the popper.
Cornchip (tortilla chip) day is on January 29 closely followed by croissant day.
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February 1 is designated bubblegum day, car insurance day and working naked day. I am hoping the last of these is not practised in the office but only in the privacy of one’s home.
February 2 (you can put your clothes back on , now, please) is the more acceptable “groundhog day” which is regarded as a harbinger as spring... not like the film in which the main protagonist has to rework the day over and over.
The first Sunday of February is Yorkshire Pudding Day. Who knows why?
More disturbingly, February 7 is “wave all your fingers at your neighbours day” which is fine if your neighbours know why you’re doing that.
Other days you may wish to ignore over the year include the days allocated to plimsolls; employee legal awareness; international tug-of-war; handcuff (the ones used on crime suspects not the furry fun ones); world sword swallowers; international dog biscuit appreciation; tooth fairy; fruit compote; what if cats and dogs had opposable thumbs (presumably dogs could put on their own leads); frozen food... and I’m only up to March.
We pause here because my head was turned by the idea of “middle name pride day”. I have no problem with mine, it’s Julia but my husband doesn’t have one and spent his younger years pretending he had one and opted for Andrew. Then I have friends who will only reveal their middle names under torture or under the influence. My mum was never much enamoured of her Mabel Rose middle names but they are very much back in fashion. Americans very much like middle initials while, on this side of the pond we are more circumspect.
I have come across the middle names Somme and Aisne - both First World War Battles and it seems it was quite the fashion during the Great War.
Still in March, we have False Teeth Day, International Bagpipe Day, Earmuffs Day, Memory Day (don’t forget that one); Melba Toast Day (a thin reason to celebrate); Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day (look forward to hearing a song about it) and Something on a Stick Day (a leaf, perhaps).
On April 14, beware. It is Look Up at the Sky Day and if two people are walking towards one another while looking up at the sky, someone could get hurt.
And the nominations for most boring day designations of the year are (there are a lot of them!): Administrative Professionals Day (April 24); Hairball Awareness Day (April 26); International Virtual Assistants’ Day; Second Half of the Year Day (July 1); Take Your Houseplant for a Walk Day (July 27); World Bratwurst Day (August 16); Felt Hat Day (September 15); Extra Virgin Olive Oil Day (September 30); Spreadsheet Day (October 17); Count Your Buttons Day (October 21); Pizza with the Works Except Anchovies Day (November 12); Lard Day (December 8).
I am minded to disqualify Take Your Houseplant for a Walk Day because it borders on intriguing,
But if you can’t be bothered with all these observances, just stick to the big ones. March 5 is Pancake Day.