Rhona's Diary

Rhona Damant, 45, developed breast cancer six years ago and now has inoperable tumours in her lungs, liver, brain and spine

Rhona's Diary

Rhona Damant, 45, developed breast cancer six years ago and now has inoperable tumours in her lungs, liver, brain and spine

I thought the diary which I wrote the last time was a hard one to write but this one is many times worse.

Before I start to write about the crumbling up which is presently going on in my body, I will say that I am sorry for not writing last week.

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So yes, my hip is broken and has been since I fell back in June during one of my multitasking days. Last week, when all of this was found out after a bone and CT scan, I had a doctor waiting by for me ready to admit me straight away to have a hip replacement.

I cannot have an epidural due to the cancer in my spine and it was looking that my odds were only one in seven of actually surviving the surgery. My hip is now in two with only half remaining.

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I asked for further opinions, and then met a fantastic doctor who told me that my worst pain was over now, so if I could swallow my pride and live the rest of my life in a wheelchair then, with such low odds, we came to the joint decision that is what I would do.

Tuesday, and that was my meeting with Dr Murray. This time there wasn't a smile or joke, so I knew that this was all very serious stuff.

Yes my cancer is on its “March” again, fluid was starting to return to my lungs, and as far as he was concerned I will let my life get pulled down on me by living in a chair. And, what is more, the man is completely right.

He is now contacting one of the top orthopaedic surgeons and an anaesthetist for a meeting to be set up and, by working out how quickly that this has all been happening, I wouldn't be surprised if I get my new hip towards the end of September, which is both a nice feeling as that could bring the old me back, but also the major apprehension of what could be the loss of my life.

As long as I have all the children's bits and pieces up to date, if the worst does happen, maybe that was my time anyway. The thing is, none of us are going to live forever and for me, my body could be ready for its final goodbye - after all it hasn't been the most enviable year.

We are off to Newquay tomorrow and I can say it is worse getting me ready than it was having a double buggy and two very little people several years ago.

We always had the old dreaded tick 'yes' list of trying to remember everything which was needed to keep two little babies content.

Well that old tick list is now back ready to go into action again!

Then: Double buggy - 2006: wheelchair

Baby car seat - My swivel around seat to help get me in and out of the car.

Baby bottles - Bottled drugs.

Gripe water - stomach acid tablets.

Walking rein - Walking stick

Calpol - sleeping tablets

Travel cot - Mattress to stop bed sores.

Yes, the similarity is all there!

All I have to do is remember to say within five minutes: “Are we there yet?” followed very quickly by: “I AM BORED”, but of course the best one is: “I want the toilet...NOW!” The fun of travelling with parents - now who in their right mind would have them??

As I fear I may be chopped up again this week, I will ask Laini to cover our night with Ronan (Keating) next week.

After Newquay I am also going to cut my writing down to fortnightly as I don't think it will be too long until my body will be thrown back into the jungle again. But as we all know, embellished bongo drums soon manage to reach even the furthest away of people.

As usual everything has been left to last minute in this house. Washing while struggling along with one stick isn't the easiest thing to do, but it wouldn't be the true Damant household to be organised… now would it?

Rhona x

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