Suffolk/Audio: Listen to internet sensation’s England Euro 2012 rant: “They’ve got to up the tempo to allegro”

FOOTBALL fan “Simon in Suffolk” has become an internet sensation after a live radio phone-in.

Royal Hospital School teacher Simon Warr was so incensed by England’s winning performance against Ukraine in last night’s Euro 2012 match that he called in BBC Five Live’s 606 football phone-in.

He said: “I was listening to the commentary and they took the match very seriously as it was a sterling English performance and we were meant to be impressed by it.

“I was so incensed I rang Five Live and didn’t expect to get through but they put me live straight away and Alan Green was laughing.”

The man dubbed “the most hilarious football phone-in caller” came up with classic phrases including “They’ve got to up the tempo to allegro”, “Where were the players weaving the magic tapestry?” and “It wasn’t a golden victory, it was a victory of fool’s gold, I think” about England’s 1-0 victory.

Mr Warr added: “It all just came off the top of my head. I was so het up and frustrated at having to watch England for 90 minutes and okay we won, but there was no quality in the performance.

“Steven Gerrard was the artist leading a group of industrial artisans.”

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Although Mr Warr wants England to win the prestigious tournament, he said it will be a “dark day for international football” if England are victorious.

“I want England to win very much but that’s my heart talking. My head says if they do win playing this sort of football, it will be a dark day for international football,” he added.

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