The last dance

Thank you to the two kind knights in shining armour who noted my behaviour on the forecourts of petrol stations all over the UK and promptly emailed to disabuse me of the notion that by hoicking the fuel hose over my head like a giant python and giving an erotic wiggle, I would persuade a few more drops of unleaded into my petrol tank.

John Runnacles writes: “To save you further embarrassment and to let you know that there is no point in wrestling with that python on the garage forecourt, the cut-off point for the delivery of your measured petrol is within the nozzle of the pump. There is a valve in the nozzle which prevents the hose from being drained. The hose then remains full for the next user of the pump.

So, you can put that petrol pump dance to bed.

With best regards...”

Meanwhile, Steve Smith of Essex Trading Standards also responded to my plight.

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“Dear Lynne, I have just read your article... with amusement. As a qualified weights and measures inspector for the last 26 years I would like to point out the folly of your petrol pump dance. The problem is that the cut off valve in a petrol pump is actually located in the nozzle assembly itself near to the trigger so no manner of wiggling of the rubber hose will extract any more fuel from the pump. I have spent years watching fellow motorists performing this strange dance. Perhaps you can pass this information on to your readers.”

Two men can’t be wrong, can they?

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Now I’ll have to pick that large gemstone out of my navel and pack away my tassels. I could never get them to rotate in opposite directions anyway.

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