When it comes to reducing vacuum power, it sucks.

For goodness’ sake. Whose darn silly, allegedly energy-saving wheeze was it to reduce the power of vacuum cleaners?

I declare my interest. I still have not come to terms with energy saving light bulbs. As one expert said this week they used to be terrible but hey, they’re all right now. No. No they’re not. The LED bulbs I get – which are among the only ones that immediately cast light upon operating the switch – are twice the price and seem to last half as long as the old-style bulbs. Moreover they are shy of my preferred 60 watts by five watts. My nightlife is measurably dimmer.

I am dreading the prospect of having to vacuum the house with something that picks up with the power of the average humane spider remover. And, they’re not going to stop at reducing max power to 1,600W. Oh, no. There’s less to come. It’s going to be 900W from 2017. You might just as well tackle cleaning the soft furnishings with a healthy suck on a drinking straw or going round with sticky tape.

My Miele cleaner, which I love, has more than 2000W of suction although, I admit, at full power it can rip the carpets from their moorings. But I love that in a vacuum.

I’m a once a week woman. I don’t want to spend time on housework. Fortunately neither I nor my family suffers from dust allergy so once a week is enough. I dust a bit, polish a bit and vacuum a bit, paying special attention to public areas. If my suction is reduced, then the electrical power to manpower (generic term) ratio is going to shift. I will need to put more of my personal energy into the housework and that’s making me feel rebellious. I haven’t lived through all the astonishing technological advances of the late 20th and early 21st centuries in order to kowtow to an edict that demands more of my precious elbow grease or “putting my back into” household tasks. I want to plug it in and watch it go.

At least, I suppose, if the dust accumulates it won’t show so much under the dim lights.

Now, in a terrifying addendum to the ban on power suction, I read the EU is contemplating reductions in the power of hair dryers, kettles and smart phones to try and slow climate change. Climate change nothing. I guarantee a very chilly reception to any such moves... if indeed this is not one of those scare stories designed to push me towards the ranks of the high-end Eurosceptics. In this instance a Eurosceptic with a filthy home, wet hair and desperate for a cup of tea who has to go through the operator to make a call on a smart phone.

Most Read

Become a Supporter

This newspaper has been a central part of community life for many years. Our industry faces testing times, which is why we're asking for your support. Every contribution will help us continue to produce local journalism that makes a measurable difference to our community.

Become a Supporter