Radio presenter Mark Murphy has given a deeply personal account of the domestic violence his mother suffered at the hands of his father.
Writing in his EADT column today, he says he has spoken publicly to raise awareness of the issue.
Mark, who presents the BBC Radio Suffolk breakfast show, shares his “painful” experience of domestic violence - and highlights the work of the Lighthouse charity in Suffolk, which helps victims.
Mark’s disclosure comes after this week’s episode of Call the Midwife, which saw a young boy sit at the top of the stairs while his mother was beaten.
Such scenes mirrored domestic abuse he witnessed as a child, the broadcaster said.
“The first episode in the new series was particularly poignant for me,” he said.
“If you missed it, the story featured domestic abuse. It featured a young lad whose father had come out of prison and had beaten his mother. It brought back some painful memories for me.
“One scene in particular saw this young lad sit on the top of the stairs as the abuse was going on. This, 45 years ago, was me. Without going in to too much detail, this is something that I witnessed for years as I was growing up.”
For Mark, his father had many positive attributes. He says he taught him how to fish, decorate the house and loved his son dearly.
But he adds: “From an early age I can remember my parents arguing and sometimes even worse.
“My dad would come home from having a drink and the rows would start. I would crawl out of bed and edge my way to the top of the stairs, I would hug the bannister and listen to what was happening below. I would hold my breath waiting for it to stop.”
This happened almost every Saturday night for several years – and as a young boy, he struggled to understand why his mother stayed with him.
But she did not want Mark to live in a broken home, and so stayed with him until the broadcaster was able to look after himself.
The presenter is now a patron of domestic abuse charity Lighthouse.
Based in Ipswich, the service provides safe and supportive refuge for victims of violence – and has been doing so since 1976.
Suffolk’s police and crime commissioner Tim Passmore, also a supporter of Lighthouse, counts reducing domestic violence as one of his highest priorities.
“Domestic abuse is an appalling and at times brutal crime and is never acceptable in any circumstance,” he said.
“I have placed great emphasis on the need to keep victims of domestic abuse at the heart of our services and since being elected, have allocated over £1.8million to 43 organisations to help support victims of this terrible crime.
He added: “We are committed to providing victims with help and advice, regardless of whether they wish to see a case proceed to court, the important thing is that anyone suffering from domestic abuse has confidence to report.”
To read Mark’s column, pick up a copy of today’s East Anglian Daily Times and turn to page 36.
What is the Lighthouse and how does it support victims?
Women’s centre: The charity runs a women and children’s wellbeing centre in central Ipswich. The service, which is free, confidential and non-judgemental, caters for all across Suffolk and is open to all women and children.
Refuge services: Accommodation is provided to offer a safe, supported environment for women and their children requiring an emergency temporary home when they leave an abusive partner or family member.
Independent Domestic Violence Advisor (IDVA) service: The county-wide IDVA service provides a high quality frontline service to men and women at high risk of domestic abuse.
An IDVA will engage with the victim on a one to one basis, they will assess the current risk and offer each victim safety planning advice and personal/emotional support.
Their support will last as long as there is a perceived high risk to the victim.
For more information visit lighthousewa.org.uk
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