March 20 is International Day of Happiness... why not check your happiness quotient in this fun quiz?

(Find your total from the scores in brackets)

1. When you get a tune stuck in your head does it tend to be:

(a) A song by Morrissey? (0)

(b) Happiness by Ken Dodd (4)

(c) A tune from the Merry Widow (3)

(d) A truly irritating ditty such as the Birdie Song (sorry if the mere mention of it sets you off) (1)

2. How many hours a day are you happy?

(a) Most of them (3)

(b) Hours? Not as much as an hour (1)

(c) Does being asleep count? (0)

(d) The couple of hours after the first glass of wine (1)

3. What do you want for your children?

(a) Happiness (3)

(b) A well-paid job (2)

(c) Success in their chosen career (2)

(d) Whatever they want (within reason) (2)

4. Is half a glass of milk

(a) half full? (2)

(b) half empty? (1)

(c) disgusting? (1)

(d) I’m dairy intolerant (0 - it’s hypothetical milk, for goodness sake)

5. Which of these is funny? (score 1 for each you find amusing)

(a) I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She told me “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace” So I bought her nothing

(b) Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.

(c) Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. (George Burns)

(d) I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married, but then it was too late...

(e) Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. (Oscar Wilde)

(f) Two cannibals eating a clown, one turned to the other and said: ‘does this taste funny to you?’

(g) Einstein’s mum: Are you happy? Einstein: Relatively.

6. Which of these makes you happiest?

(a) A really good meal (3)

(b) A really good book (3)

(c) Having an old friend, with whom you’ve lost touch, win a fortune of the National Lottery (0 - are you mad?)

(d) A lie-in (2)

7. What is most likely to spoil your happiness? (Choose only one)

(a) Your football team losing (1)

(b) A replacement bus service between Colchester and London Liverpool Street (2)

(c) Gloomy weather (2)

(d) A bad day at work (2)

If you scored:

18-24 You are essentially a happy person although this is not a permanent state. You have a realistic outlook on life and this means you appreciate the good things in your life but recognise it isn’t always going to be good. You laugh readily and people enjoy your company.

10-17 You are finely tuned to react to changes in your level of happiness. You value happiness highly but can’t always relax enough to enjoy it. You have a tendency to over-think when you might otherwise just embrace being happy.

Under 10: I’m amazed you got through the questionnaire. You see the downside of any potentially happy situation. Do you go to weddings and talk about all the marriages you know that have failed? You do, don’t you. Stop analysing every situation and just go with the flow... have you tried yoga?