Oh, oh, those summer nights
I do not suffer from insomnia except when I can’t sleep.
When a blackbird with a megaphone sat outside our bedroom window and started up a half-hearted, solo dawn chorus, I thought it must be, maybe, 5am?
It was 3.30am.
I had been asleep for three hours.
My husband stirred beside me. “Have I been to sleep yet?” he murmured.
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“You are asleep,” I reassured him and closed my eyes in anticipation of a happy return to dreamland.
But then it started. My head filled up with things I urgently needed to think about now.
- 1 'If offers are higher elsewhere, so be it' - Wigan CEO on losing Evans to Ipswich
- 2 Get ready for League One's 'Arizona Derby' as Lincoln follow Town with Phoenix investment
- 3 Why these Suffolk villages were named among 'most beautiful to visit'
- 4 Shop opens at Suffolk village pub
- 5 Thunderstorms expected to continue until Saturday in Suffolk and Essex
- 6 Saxmundham man, 26, appears in court charged with 11 child sex offences
- 7 Traffic at standstill on A12 between Ipswich and Colchester
- 8 Aldi targets Felixstowe, Saxmundham and Sudbury for new stores
- 9 Man and woman charged in connection with the theft of 85 dogs
- 10 'We're keeping about 10% of the roster' - Johnson on Ipswich squad overhaul
The blackbird gave way to a brace of collar doves who cooed loudly and probably got up to mischief on the patio. A few raucous seagulls swooped over before the magpie arrived to make its tuneless contribution to the proceedings.
I started to feel a bit hot. Despite the Hormone Replacement Therapy, I can still summon up a night sweat from time to time. I kicked off the duvet and balanced it on top of my husband’s peaceful form.
I turned on to my left side; on to my right side; on to my front; on to my back.
Suddenly, my left arm was feeling a bit numb – is that pins and needles? And I had a sharp pain under my left breast. This is it – all those years of smoking and eating chips have caught up with me. This was a heart attack.
I waited for intense pain to strike but quickly realised that during the tossing and turning my nightdress has coiled itself round me like a boa constrictor and the left armhole had stretched itself across my body and was now ac-commodating both my left arm and my left boob.
I unwrapped myself and tried to get back to sleep… did I need to go to the loo? No, I was fine… or was I? Did I need to go and try?
It only takes a sneeze…
I got up and went to the loo.
Only another three hours until the alarm goes.