Oh, oh, those summer nights

I do not suffer from insomnia except when I can’t sleep.

When a blackbird with a megaphone sat outside our bedroom window and started up a half-hearted, solo dawn chorus, I thought it must be, maybe, 5am?

It was 3.30am.

I had been asleep for three hours.

My husband stirred beside me. “Have I been to sleep yet?” he murmured.

You may also want to watch:

“You are asleep,” I reassured him and closed my eyes in anticipation of a happy return to dreamland.

But then it started. My head filled up with things I urgently needed to think about now.

Most Read

The blackbird gave way to a brace of collar doves who cooed loudly and probably got up to mischief on the patio. A few raucous seagulls swooped over before the magpie arrived to make its tuneless contribution to the proceedings.

I started to feel a bit hot. Despite the Hormone Replacement Therapy, I can still summon up a night sweat from time to time. I kicked off the duvet and balanced it on top of my husband’s peaceful form.

I turned on to my left side; on to my right side; on to my front; on to my back.

Suddenly, my left arm was feeling a bit numb – is that pins and needles? And I had a sharp pain under my left breast. This is it – all those years of smoking and eating chips have caught up with me. This was a heart attack.

I waited for intense pain to strike but quickly realised that during the tossing and turning my nightdress has coiled itself round me like a boa constrictor and the left armhole had stretched itself across my body and was now ac-commodating both my left arm and my left boob.

I unwrapped myself and tried to get back to sleep… did I need to go to the loo? No, I was fine… or was I? Did I need to go and try?

It only takes a sneeze…

I got up and went to the loo.

Only another three hours until the alarm goes.

Become a Supporter

This newspaper has been a central part of community life for many years. Our industry faces testing times, which is why we're asking for your support. Every contribution will help us continue to produce local journalism that makes a measurable difference to our community.

Become a Supporter
Comments powered by Disqus