What’s on Wayne: Reviewed, Transformers Age of Extinction (12A), Cineworld Ipswich

Transformers: Age Of Extinction.

Transformers: Age Of Extinction. - Credit: PA

The youngster in me loved this. Truthfully, it’s an overly long mess.

Autobots and Decepticons alike are being hunted by a rogue government agent and turned over to a scientist looking to exploit their unique abilities. When a widowed inventor and his family stumble across the battered remains of Optimus Prime, they find themselves hunted too.

First off, Transformian – the metal all Transformers are made from – is probably the worst attempt at a movie trying to explain something that doesn’t need explaining since Star Wars’ Midi-chlorians. Secondly, every time somebody mentions the movie’a macguffin the seed, it sounds icky.

The story is something the cast mention in-between set-pieces and the potential metaphor of the Transformers as literal illegal aliens wasted.

Female characters get short-changed; especially poor Sophia Myles who’s left standing about like the person who has to hold everybody’s coats at the fun park while they enjoy the rides.

When the Transformer on Transformer “Bay-hem” starts it’s still hard to tell one from the other. It’s like walking in on your home appliances getting frisky.

The film is quite brutal with some surprising and gruesome deaths. Humans are treated as disposable, which is probably how director Michael Bay sees his fleshy cast.

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Worst of all, I’ve waited four films for the Dinobots to show up and when they do they’re wasted. They lack personality or any hero moments with poor T-Rex Grimlock saddled, in every respect, with a minor role as Prime’s pony. Kids will love it though.

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